Bruce Almighty
It was pitch-dark and foggy as Alyssa’s plane began to make its descent into Dublin Airport.
Alyssa Parlee, who grew up in Toronto, Canada, was six years old when she’d last visited her mum Amanda’s native Northern Ireland.
But here she was, at 33, a few weeks before Christmas, thousands of miles from all the people she loved, with a dream of starting over.
It’s like a scene from The Holiday, except instead of Cameron Diaz arriving alone in England on Christmas Eve, it was Alyssa arriving in Antrim.
‘But I wasn’t alone,’ Alyssa protests, ‘I had Bruce.’
As the plane dipped towards Dublin, Alyssa wasn’t imagining the patchwork of green fields beneath her or thinking of the shimmering blue of Lough Neagh she’d last glimpsed as a little girl.
Instead, she was imagining Bruce, her two-year-old Golden Retriever, just below her in the plane’s hold.
‘I was terrified about how he’d be on the plane,’ Alyssa remembers. ‘Before we left Toronto, they were saying, “We’re loading the last of the luggage” - and I’m like, “Oh God, that’s my Bruce.” The whole flight, I was like, “Oh my gosh, how is Bruce, what’s he doing now just below me?” But he's always loved his crate, thank God. I think that saved me. I was the one having a nervous breakdown. He was totally fine.’
Around four hours later, arriving at her parents’ empty holiday home in Antrim, the first thing Alyssa spotted in the darkness was the waggly swish of Bruce’s golden tail.
He’d travelled north with the pet courier company and arrived just in time to welcome his mammy home.
Alyssa was jet-lagged, terrified - but, she smiles: ‘I had Bruce - he was my little piece of home.’
And at least there was the Christmas tree her parents had put up and decorated before they’d left Antrim after their holiday there a few weeks before.
Over the next few days, Alyssa went around with a few Christmas cards and introduced herself to her neighbours.
‘It was terrifying: nobody was here, my parents weren’t here, and my mom’s cousins were on holidays,’ she remembers. ‘It was my first time driving on the wrong side of the road. I remember getting my rental car, thinking, “OK…”’ she says, laughing. ‘I was standing there thinking, “What am I doing?” Everything was frosty. I was using a credit card to scrape ice off the windshield. My knuckles were white, I was gripping the steering wheel so tightly. I was white-knuckling it, completely.’
For Christmas Day, it was just Alyssa and Bruce.
And for Christmas dinner?
‘Bruce had some bacon in the morning and then chicken,’ she recalls. ‘I think I had chicken pasta - and some wine.’
And no, unlike The Holiday, a Jude Law lookalike with a sexy Northern Irish twang didn’t land up at her front door.
‘It was weird,’ admits Alyssa, and on whether she worried she’d made a mistake, she laughs: ‘Oh my God, yes, absolutely.’
She was certainly a world away from the bright city lights of Toronto.
“Have I made a mistake? I mean, I know I wanted something different, but there are lots and lots of sheep”
‘I remember going out walking with Bruce and thinking, “Oh, this is very different.” I didn’t remember being here as I was six the last time I was here but I wasn’t really in Antrim [town] either. I remember thinking, “Have I made a mistake? I mean, I know I wanted something different, but there are lots and lots of sheep.”’
But Alyssa wasn’t fazed.
As she explains, by the time herself and Bruce arrived in Northern Ireland, she was well used to starting over.
Three years earlier, in 2019, Alyssa was 30 and living her best life.
She was working for a tech company and living in Toronto in the home she’d bought with her boyfriend.
Before that, she’d spent years modelling internationally, flying between contracts in China and across Asia.
Shanghai was the first city she moved to for work.
She flitted between model houses, like the girls in Next Top Model.
‘I left home when I was 18, as soon as I graduated high school - I lived in Asia for ten years. I've always been really independent,’ she says. ‘I got scouted but my parents didn’t let me do it until I left high school. After school I didn’t know what I wanted to do so that [modelling] came up and it was perfect. We'd get put in model apartments with random girls from all over the world. I’d to move cities every two or three months. I did commercial stuff. I loved it. It was a great way to see the world and make money. Even in China, I would help rescue the dogs from the meat trade. Groups go and chase down the meat trucks and stop them and take the dogs. I helped to find them places to go and homes for them.’
Then, a year after she’d moved home to Canada, everything changed.
Alyssa describes it as ‘a series of unfortunate events…’
One morning, Alyssa was crossing a street in Toronto with her partner when a driver failed to see them in time.
‘She [the driver] turned and hit my partner first and panicked, I think,’ she recalls. ‘Instead of hitting the brake, she hit the gas. She took me on a good drive.
‘My head completely smashed through the windscreen. I had a brain bleed. I had a broken leg and all these injuries.’
Alyssa was also diagnosed with a traumatic brain injury.
‘I had to learn how to walk again and talk - everything, essentially,’ she explains. ‘I couldn't get out of bed. I couldn't get into bed; I couldn’t lift myself. I could speak but I couldn’t really find words. I couldn’t remember. If you ever asked me what day it was, I'd say Tuesday every single time. One time it would be correct, right? I couldn’t be left alone.
‘I went from being this really, really independent person and having this real social life to being dependent on everyone around me. My whole life just became therapy. It was crazy. Speech therapy, physio, social worker - that was me for three years.’
She adds: 'Giving up work killed me as I was always really focused on work.’
'It felt like I'd lost myself. But it’s inside. It’s very lonely as it’s not visible. I still get overstimulated now and my short-term memory is still very bad.’
But what she remembers most of that time is the isolation and the loneliness.
‘A brain injury is really hard to describe unless you've had one,’ she continues. ‘For a long time I was really lost as I knew I’m not the same person but everyone around me was like, “But to us you are - you seem the same to us.” But I wasn't. It felt like I'd lost myself. But it’s inside. It’s very lonely as it’s not visible. I still get overstimulated now and my short-term memory is still very bad.’
For the next three years, Alyssa’s life was a blur of medical appointments and rehab sessions as recovery became her full-time job.
Some days she wondered whether this would be her life now, sick and lonely.
‘It was really hard because you don't know if this is forever,’ she explains. ‘Then Covid happened. It was kind of weird as I’d felt like I’d been in lockdown for a year before and then everyone was in the same boat. It was no different for me. People could see what I’d been living, on my own. I'd get really impatient. After the first year. Then the second year. It was scary always having the doctors tell me - they run a lot of cognitive tests and they grade you - they’d say, “You may never be the same”, or that I may never work again. They give you worst-case scenarios, but I’m really stubborn so I was like, “No, let me prove you wrong - just watch me.” I got angry and said, “No, I won’t let the accident ruin my life.”’
Growing up, Alyssa’s parents, Amanda and Mark, rescued dogs facing euthanasia and found them homes.
Now, seeing Alyssa struggling with being on her own so much, they got her a gorgeous Golden Retriever puppy who she called Gus, pictured below.
‘I've had dogs my whole life,’ she smiles. ‘I’d always been obsessed with Goldens [Golden Retrievers]. I was really, really down after the accident and I’d been really wanting a dog for a long time and my parents said, “Well, maybe this is a good time.” I had to walk this little puppy. It gave me motivation. My physiotherapist came with me and Gus and we’d go for walks. I was very fearful of walking so had to do a pedestrian anxiety course but it was helpful as Gus had to be walked.’
Soon Gus had become something of a therapy dog for Alyssa - in more ways than one.
‘He gave me motivation,’ she smiles. ‘I didn't feel alone anymore. I always had someone there.’
By then, Alyssa had also grown deeply unhappy in her relationship.
‘It was bad, and in most circumstances, I’d have left earlier but when you're solely focused on just surviving and learning to walk and talk again, that’s your last thought,’ she explains. ‘It became so I was so dependent on everyone around me so where do you go? It was really difficult. At least I had my little friend.’
Then, disaster struck again.
To this day, Alyssa’s voice cracks with emotion as she recounts what happened.
‘We were about to take Gus for a walk and he got the zoomies, running around and I was trying to get his lead on him and he jumped up so high and threw himself back,’ she remembers.
Gus broke his neck.
Heartbreakingly, he didn’t make it.
‘It was so traumatising, especially after everything…’ says Alyssa. ‘After that I said, “I’m never getting a dog again.” I fostered a dog, a girl called Amari for a bit. She got a great home - I still get updates about her and we keep in touch - and I looked after other people’s dogs. They gave me a bit of a purpose as I didn’t feel like I had one.’
But, as all doggie parents know, dogs have a habit of turning up at just the right time.
‘My parents got me Bruce,’ smiles Alyssa, of when her darling Bruce arrived in summer, 2021.
‘He is actually Gus's nephew, the same bloodline - Gus lives on through him,’ she says. ‘I got him at ten weeks. He was such a cute puppy, this little furry bundle of fluff. He turned into a shark, biting everything. They’re insane for a bit, then chill around one and at two, he really calmed down. I couldn’t walk far so I had a dog walker.’
With Bruce by her side, Alyssa finally found the courage to end her relationship and, aged 32, found herself back with her parents, living in her childhood bedroom.
‘I had Bruce towards the end of that relationship and he helped me so much,’ she says. ‘He was my little emotional support dog. The break-up was really tough. We owned a home together. All the therapy came to an end around then too as there was a lawsuit involved so I’d gone from therapy every single day and knowing these people and talking to them to having nothing. At the same time we’re having to separate the house and all of that. Bruce was amazing. I ended up living in my parents’ house with Bruce and I was like, “Now, what? Now what are we going to do?” It was a very scary time...’
Alyssa picks up her phone from the table and scrolls through her photo albums, her face lighting up as she swipes through pictures taken around this time.
‘It’s actually hilarious - we're at my parents and we’re always on the couch and he’s always right beside me, the best dog ever,’ she grins.
There’s Alyssa, looking tired and fed up, in her tracksuit, her hair pulled back in a ponytail, with trusty Bruce curled up next to her on the couch.
Alyssa reveals that the accident had not only shattered her body, but her confidence too.
Whereas before she wouldn’t have batted an eyelid at the thought of moving to a new city on a new continent, now she struggled to even leave the house.
‘I think I lost part of myself,’ she reflects. ‘Bruce gave me a purpose. He needed feeding. He needed walking. He needed me.’
And so, with Bruce at her side, Alyssa kept putting one foot in front of the other.
One afternoon, after the sale of the home she’d shared with her ex came through, she found herself thinking about Northern Ireland.
‘I’d always thought about coming here,’ she says. ‘My mom is from Belfast. They left when she was two, but they’d always come back and relatives would come over [to Canada]. I always thought about Belfast and then I thought, “Well, I’ve started over so many times in my life, why not start over again and do it properly?” Then it was like, “What am I waiting for?” So I just decided, “Right, we’re going.” It’s crazy. It was a big leap of faith. I decided I’d buy a house in Antrim. I wanted a backyard with Bruce... I wanted to settle.’
Once Alyssa made up her mind, the only big headache was getting Bruce to Northern Ireland and all that entailed; paperwork, vaccines, pet courier companies.
‘It cost about $8-10,000,’ she says. ‘I was terrified about him flying, especially as he had to fly in cargo. People think they’re sitting there with the luggage but they have their own area in a holding facility before they board and on-board. It’s a controlled, pressurised environment. After they got him through customs and everything, I got video updates of him in a field, playing tug of war. He was having the time of his life. He never knew he was on a seven-hour flight.’
Landing in Ireland, in December, 2022, ‘it was literally me, my suitcase and Bruce’.
She continues: ‘It was a massive change. I never felt alone with Bruce. After the accident, I was so used to being on my own so moving here, as long as I had Bruce, I thought, “I’m good.”’
A few days after arriving, Alyssa took her first walk into Antrim town and wandered into trendy café, Third Day Coffee - dog-friendly, of course - where we’re sitting today, and where Alyssa knows all the friendly staff.
‘Bruce is bigger than Goldens here, so everyone who sees him is like, “Oh my gosh, he’s so cute!”’ she says. ‘He really helped me to settle in. I’m social but I’m also quite shy and he forces me out of my comfort zone. Bruce pushes me to get out and see more so I’ll take him to Helen’s Bay, country parks, dog parks, or a walk in Belfast. He gave me more confidence in myself. I'd think, let's go somewhere new, for Bruce, as I want to give him the best life. He deserves the best.
‘I would have quite bad anxiety and PTSD stuff. It's weird, it’s almost like he just knows.
‘He’s not a therapy dog but acts like one. He'll come over and put his paw on my chest and will just look at me when I’m feeling anxious. He’s always done it. He helped me get back to the part of me I felt I lost after the accident.’
That January, Alyssa and Bruce moved into her new home and she got a remote job in cyber-security. Her parents came to visit that May.
And then, as if on cue, that October, a man walked into her life.
It wasn’t Jude Law - but hunky Scottish John Devlin wouldn’t be kicked out of a romcom for eating crisps, either.
‘John’s actually a cat person... but Bruce converted him,’ she laughs. ‘We met online. He’d just moved from Glasgow to Belfast and I was like, “Oh, we’re both new.” Now he's obsessed with Bruce. They absolutely adore each other.’
John, as it happens, runs food trucks - no doubt a fact that helped raise him in Bruce's estimation.
One of his food trucks is the popular Toastie Box, where Bruce loves sometimes moonlights as its ‘canine concierge’. He's a charming host, who woos smitten diners with his big, waggly welcomes. And he'll bend over backwards to help those struggling to finish their pulled pork sambos too, of course.
Come October, Bruce will wear a kilt - and walk Alyssa up the aisle at Grey Abbey, on the shores of Strangford Lough, in Co. Down.
Alyssa reveals: ‘John brought me up to Portrush [seaside town]. He told me we were going to go away for the weekend as he had just finished working [doing food] at the Irish Open. I didn’t want to go as I didn’t want to leave Bruce as we were going on holidays to Greece the next week. He asked me to marry him at Whiterocks Beach - I was so shocked. Right after I said yes, I saw Bruce and my parents come running down the beach.’
She laughs: ‘John even showed Bruce the ring before he asked me.’
Bruce clearly approves, and he also has his pawprints all over a few other big moves in Alyssa and her family’s lives.
‘I couldn’t find a dog groomer for him,’ explains Alyssa. ‘One place I took him he was so sleepy coming home so I brought him to the vet and they said he may have been sedated, so I freaked out and said, that’s never happening again. Goldens need a lot of de-shedding and people didn’t know how to groom so I went and did the course and got fully qualified. Then I thought, waiting lists are insane, maybe there’s an opportunity here. I absolutely love animals so why not?’
And so the idea for Tails Of Antrim lit in her mind, and Alyssa hopes to welcome her first furry client in August.
It’s been three years since Alyssa arrived in her mum’s native Northern Ireland, alone and terrified.
But now, up to her neck in the glorious chaos of setting up a new business while organising a wedding, Alyssa looks back and is grateful for all the pain, struggle and heartbreak that led to her making her big, bold move.
And the domino effect of that snap decision, Alyssa’s ‘leap of faith’, led to a family homecoming beyond her wildest dreams.
Two years ago, her younger sister Caitlin, 35, followed Alyssa over to Northern Ireland, with her husband Greg Fishwick, their two cats, Delilah and Sansa, and a ferret called Bandit in tow.
‘They were living in Texas but they saw how much I was loving it here, and my parents were spending a lot more time here too, so Caitlin and Greg moved over to Randalstown [Co. Antrim],’ reveals a thrilled Alyssa. ‘My brother-in-law, Greg, he’s an electrician and started his own business and that’s going really well.
‘Caitlin has a bake stand outside her house called Cait’s Bakes. She sells scones and baked goods with a Canadian twist, so maple and pecan flavours from back home. They’re so happy here and say it’s the best decision they ever made. It’s been wonderful for my whole family. I really do love it here. I love the people, they’re so friendly and helpful. It’s so beautiful.’
She laughs: ‘The thing I love most about Antrim is how relaxed it is, as things go at such a slower pace - and the thing that drives me nuts about Antrim is how relaxed it is, like when you want something done…’
For Bruce’s fifth birthday in July, he had a party with lots of sausages on the barbie on the Saturday, and on the Sunday, he went to Portrush with his favourite people for a puppuccino and a cheese burger.
‘I was just talking to someone the other day, saying who would have thought a Golden Retriever would be the reason for so many decisions I made in my life, and then everyone else - all because of Bruce,’ muses Alyssa.
‘He’s led me to so many great things. He’s the catalyst. Bruce changes everyone. Crazy as people may say it sounds, he really pushed me and gave me a purpose and a reason. I think I always pushed myself but he made me push myself that much more. He gave me more confidence in myself. I don’t know if I’d have come here on my own, not at that time. I could not have done it without Bruce. He helped me get part of myself back. He helped me get back to the part of me I felt I lost.
‘There were definitely times when I was sick, I thought, “Is this just me forever?” Here, if I’d think I’d made a mistake, I'd look at Bruce and think, “Well, we're here now.”’
Alyssa smiles: ‘Some people have human children - he’s my furry child.
‘We’ve been through so much together.
‘Bruce is always there - he’s my ride or die.’
